So, every one’ getting married, every one’s having kids, every one’s studying abroad.
Me, neah, just stick around, here with the same old fellas, the same job, the same routine activities. Perhaps, with little sparkles in a month, to buzz me up from my so-so life.
It’s not that I’m being ungrateful. I just feel that, I can achieve more than just ‘this’.
I can be more than just me.
Recently, I can’t get wedding stuff off my head. Then I’m thinking, I know that marriage is a good thing. But, when I’m bounded, there will be thousands of opportunities that I might be missed, if I got married.
When I’m talking about opportunities, that can be, studying abroad, see the whole world, see how ministries out there, see how terrible war is, see cultures of people on the other side of this earth.
That’s A LOT. And I want them ALL
For now I have no idea how to get there, I admitted that my focus is no longer about those goals.
I’m focusing on my heart, my partner, my money, my saving, my image.
Gosh..
LORD, these passion, I know they don’t just popped up in me.
Please show me a way, please strengthen me.
Kalau membaca tulisan dari rekan saya Cappucino, kata-kata ‘menumbuhkan uban dalam kedamaian’ itu sungguh menohok. Mungkin ‘kedamaian’ yang saya tangkap sedikit berbeda, saya mendefinisikan ‘kedamaian’ tadi dengan ‘PNS’, ’8-5′, ‘ menikah punya anak dan mati’.
Tidak ada yang salah dengan hal-hal tadi, tapi di lubuk hati terdalam, PisangGoreng merasa, ada bentuk ‘kedamaian’ lain yang lebih sesuai dengan definisi pribadi.
Semisal, pencapaian mimpi-mimpi.
Lalu, apakah mimpi-mimpi PisangGoreng? Beberapa di antaranya mungkin terdengar konyol dan tidak penting, tapi itulah yang menjadi mimpi-mimpi saya.
Pencapaian.
Apa yang sudah kucapai?
Apakah sukses terbesarku?
Apakah kekecewaan terbesarku?
Ataukah hidup sudah menjadi garis lurus, bagaikan indikator matinya denyut jantung?
